SWLLC plug!

Hey a big thanks goes out to my brother for the free plug off his blog. If you're a SWLLC fan, good news is that I come from the same genetic pool as my brother, so I'll be providing entertaining tidbits for you with nearly 1-month gaps between content refreshes. If this is all too complicated for you, maybe you're this guy:



Well hopefully not.

College or summer camp?

I've come to the recent realization that college is a lot like summer camp...

-You live in dorms with a bunch of stinky kids who like to pee all over the place and frequently make too much noise.
-The food sucks.
-Relationship news is the talk of the town!
-Peeing in public is sooooo cool.
-You have to attend things (like class) that you don't really want to.
-There's lots of bugs in your room/dorm.
-There's that one kid (or several) nobody likes but you somehow end up being around all the time.
-Somebody always craps their pants.

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Stickers can be stupid...

I was in class the other day and noticed the two girls in front of me putting barbie stickers and strawberry/fruit stickers on their notebooks for "fun."

News Flash: You're 21 years old and in College--why are you using stickers on your notes for your $122.45 per class english course?! Could you at least doodle?

Example section:

Here's what you do when you're 4...


& here's what you do when you're 21!!!

It's hot in herre.

First day of school today, sorry for the lack of updates, but I've been rather laz...err...busy! No seriously, I've had a ton of shit to do and it's nice that the weekend's close. The tuesday thursday schedule is a bit massive, with an estimated 4.5 hours of total class time. Not that I'm complaining, but that makes m/w/f kind of a joke. In the process of switching rooms to be with my buddy, but that's become kind of a beaurocratic mess.

More soon, I am lacking the propensity or ability to provide wit or any kind of humor at the moment, and the shower is calling my name. If you feel like listening to something good, you can buy my brother's album though :) It's really good, and only $12. I'll try & post a weekend update if I can.

Cheers,

-J

More like "Smell A"

This town stinks...I'm serious! It's hot, the roads are super conjested and quite frankly the amount of Smog is scary! To my horror upon arriving here and unpacking my belongings I found that I had no phone, pillows or trash recepticle at my disposal. Could things get worse? Possibly, but I managed to pick one of these up. Despite it's teenage appeal, the phone is hilarious. When you get messages it says "Oooh aren't you popular!" in a faux British accent in addition to having cell-phone-like ringtones for that horrific tres shiq appeal. The phone was $40, but it has a built in answering machine and a blue screen, which might have cost $40 just on it's own. I recommend picking one up at your local retailer immediately.

We're hitting up the bar now, finding some sanctity in old friends before all the rest of em show up and things get hectic. In case you were going to go to IKEA in Saudi Arabia, you might want to change your mind.

It's better down south..

Making the epic trip that is Portland to L.A. starting tomorrow so there shouldn't be any updates for a while. In the meantime why don't you read this story, despite it's near 77% chance of being completely fabricated, it's a wonderful read and will certainly make you laugh a bit.

See you in SoCal...land of fake breasts and air you can see.

Viva Las Hooters?

Well, I guess it was only a matter of time before Hooters invaded the desert that is Las Vegas. It's official, Hooters is becoming a hotel/restaurant/experience, which can only mean one thing: there are some questions that need answering...

1. Are the maids required to wear the trashy Hooters uniform?

2. Could I perchance order delicious Hooters wings from the comfort of my own room at all hours of the day?

3. Will front desk representatives (including the consierge) also follow with a Hooters-type theme in unform & decor?

4. Will there be a bowling alley?

I sent off these questions to an official Hooters representive, so we should know soon. I'll keep you updated!

Sammy Hagar is a wanker.

I was crusing around on iTunes yesterday & on their music store I found Sammy Hagar's Celebrity Playlist. For those of you who don't know, the celebrity playlist feature is a chance for celebrities (film, music, tv, general) to share their favorite music with people if they want to buy it. The idea is to give people a general sense of what kind of music the celebrity is listening to and a real chance to see if a musical artist is going to put themselves on the list.


I rock dude!

I'd like to give the award of selfish bastard to Sammy Hagar for putting ELEVEN of his own songs on there. You might say to me "Well Josh, Van Halen kicks ass, I mean you can't really blame him for that." Oh but there's only THREE songs from Van Halen. THREE!

In comparison I'd like to list some other celebrities and their inclusions in their own playlists (all listed are musical artists):

Runners up for selfish bastards (silver & bronze if you will):

Jadakiss-2
Pete Rock-2

Honorable Mentions:

JoJo-1
Missy Elliot-1
Moby-1*
Erik Sermon-1

Kind Souls:

Fred Durst-0
Kelly Clarkson-0
Adam Sandler-0
Duncan Sheik-0
Tom Petty-0
Avril Levigne-0
Indigo Girls-0
John Mayer-0
Flaming Lips-0
Blink 182-0
Dave Brubeck-0
Billy Corgan-0
Sting-0
Seal-0

*-from a "Protest Playlist" so it's not like he's tooting his own horn too much.
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See a trend here? Now can you find it hard to believe Mr. Hagar included his own bands on the list for ELEVEN of the songs? Could it get worse? Oh yes, Hagar also included a plug for his brand of Tequilla
& bandmate Michael Anthony's hot sauce:

"I'll grill up some nice fresh shrimp and lobster, throw some tortillas on the fire with a great salsa and some Mad Anthony's hot sauce, enjoy a nice shot of chilled tequila (Cabo Wabo, please), and we're there."
-Sammy Hagar

Could it get worse? Oh yes it does. Track number 20 "High & Dry Again" by Sammy Hagar & The Waboritas is his "Favorite Sex Song." Dude, you're the one singing it!

Honorable mentions of comments related to songs he's in:
"Favorite The-Relationship-Is-Getting-Serious Song"
"Favorite Smoking Song"
"Favorite Song to Reflect By"

I only have one thing to say dude. You ain't Diamond Dave..get over yourself.

We don't want no stinkin' ads!

Alright I sold out.

Blogger offered me the chance to make a little spare change with some free advertising on the site & I said yes. I'm not sure how long they'll stay there (I'm giving them a month), but I'm keeping them on for the time being because they're pretty unobtrusive and have the potential to be partially useful.

It's kind of funny actually, the ad link below the story about Howard Stern (yesterday's blog) has a link for a petition to save Stern from the FCC, last time I checked it also came up with an olive oil company which was under my chicken recipe. We'll see how it goes.
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Now on to the important stuff. I only have one item today, but it's pretty much the coolest thing ever and I have engadget to thank for this:



To find out how they got this picture...click here.

Howard Stern: How-To!

Okay, after turning on the TV late last night to try & find something good (other than watching hour 11,000 of the Olympics) I finally hit the edge with the Howard Stern show. And by hitting the edge, I mean I am fed up with the fact that it's still in syndication. Don't get me wrong, at one point it was creative and edgy, but seriously every time it's on all I see is washed-up high school jv cheerleaders who think they're Playboy material. Here's the show format in a nutshell:

• Howard spends a couple minutes blabbering with co-hosts before introducing the guest.

• The guest is one of the following:
<>

1. Woman with too much make-up, not enough clothes, who thinks Howard is going to interview her for her great stories and quick wit.

2. Two girls who think they're on the show because they're the best thing since sliced bread. They eventually manage a peck somewhere around the end of the show to shut Howard up and to get their plug.

3. A midget.

4. An E-list porn star from 1991 whose work you might find in the local recycling center
next to the used motor oil.

• Howard plays a game with the guest, usually at the expense of their clothing, which after being taken off looks something like this:

• Howard Ooh's & Ahh's and flirts with the guest, who in turn either grudgingly flirts with him or eggs him on to get the plug for their movie/video/book/action figure.

• Howard Plug for {insert guest name here} void of all value now that the guest has given the DAT sound carts a lapdance which to viewers looked like this:

• Post interview, usually done by the irritating sidekick (whose been doing this for 9 years!) in which the guest tries to get the hell out of the building before any more damage is done.

• Credits roll, which look like they've been done by a SUNY film student.

• Rinse & Repeat.

Who you callin' a chicken?

Slow news day eh? It appears to be a slow day in general so I thought I'd provide people with a great marinade for chicken since everybody likes that sort of thing right?

Josh's* Kick-Ass Chicken:
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(for 4 breasts or equal portions thereof)

4oz. extra virgin olive oil
1tbsp grated fresh ginger
2 tbsp fresh ground black pepper
1 clove of smashed garlic
Zest of 1 lime
Juice of 1 lime
1 tbsp sea salt
1 tbsp of Cavenders Greek Seasoning
2 tbsp brown sugar

Combine in ziplock or ceramic container.

*-Adapted heavily from a recipe from Margo's mom.

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How to "Kick it up a notch"...because I know you like to!
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-Use a flavored olive oil instead of just regular. Sundried Tomato is excellent if avaliable.

-Add the juice & zest of half an orange as well...it'll make it very juicy when grilled.

-Throw a diced onion in if you're pan grilling it on the hob, it'll match up with the brown sugar and give you a great carmel-like side dish.

e voila!

Mostly Deaf...

I can't help thinking after saying "what?" about 30 times today to family & friends that my iPod is slowly making me go deaf. Maybe it's the fact that the headphones go farther in my head than normal headphones (they're the buds baby)..or maybe it's the fact that iPods have supercharged audio output of 20,000hz, which is way more than most other MP3 players on the market. It's so loud they placed a volume limiter in the European versions to make sure people wouldn't blow their ears out.

Apparently the move was all based around the fact that Steve Jobs (Apple's CEO) is partially deaf in one ear and wanted something he could play loud enough to overcome that...and frankly we all know that the best way to fix hearing problems is louder music. Just ask people who grew up in the 80s:


Wife: "What?"
Husband: "I think the Wal-Mart camera guy says we need more hairspray"
Child: *Grrr...*
Wife: "What?"

Okay, enough about iPods, I'm sure you're sick & tired of hearing about them & in case you feel left out of the whole iPod movement, it doesn't mean you can't dip some headphones in white-out & make your own iPod (or iPod mini) to bring to the gym or your local bowling alley...

Even though it won't play music, you'll save a lot of cash right?

Photo of the day: I think the one above does the trick.

Farewell Netflix!

This makes the trip to the mailbox sooo worth it.

Today was a sad day, I cancelled my netflix membership (mere minutes before they could bill me for another month) and also mere minutes before they shipped me out 2 more DVDs that were in my que that I now have 7 days to return :)

It was doubly sad because I associate Netflix with summer vacation...a time when the rental of videos is an integral part of finding relatively low-cost ways to stay amused and catch up on all those things you miss doing 60+ hours a week of school work. Netflix is hands-down one of the best ways to rent videos as long as you have the patience to wait a day to get the video you want instead of going for instant gratification. It also pays for a month of service within 5 videos, which if you're like me can be achieved easily inside of a week. You'll really never want to go back to spending $4 a pop at a video store and getting some scratched up DVD that you have to return in a couple of days and deal with running into ex's or people you frankly just don't want to see. Call it one more step to complete societal isolation, but I think it's something that is helping to keep the near-monopoly of the video rental business in a much-needed check.

iMac on your mom...

Not much going on today, it's a tad hot here & all I can say is thank god for air conditioning. Who knows how cavepeople survived...except of course for living in caves...hmmm...

Don't wanna get too techy for people today, but Apple is coming out with a new iMac at the end of this month to replace the alien-looking one that's been around for a few years. A bunch of people have made mockups of what they think it will look like, but some dude from Germany made a really cool one that's kind of like a TV gone computer. Here's a picture:


I know I worry about falling in love with backs often.

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Also if you're interested in reading that Playboy interview with the creators of Google (it's not all geeky trust me) this site put up a copy of it because it's technically public property now that Google is an IPO. A nice little snippet from the interview comes in the form of a uncomforting quote from co-creator Sergey Brin: "Our ads aren’t distracting; they’re helpful."

Here's your picture of the day...a little taste of summer if you catch my drift.

Where's your entourage?

There's nothing quite like premium cable. Only one thing could tear me away from 4 hours of Olympic montages and anorexic female gymnists and that was HBO's entourage. The show is so enjoyable I thought I'd give you five reasons why it's worth 30 minutes of your Sunday night and undoubtably $30 of your monthly cable bill for HBO:

Five reasons why kicks ass:

1. Good actors from movies and TV. Every character is spot-on and delivers with wit and realism.

2. An idea that's never ending. The plotlines and character expansion are endless. The show can cover the star's life from fame to burnout and even revival...each episode just builds more depth.



3. Jeremy Piven. He was the cool guy in "PCU", the cool friend in "Grosse Point Blank" and the incredible asshole in "Old School" His character in the show is hilarious and either makes you cringe or bust out laughing...sometimes both. He's the guy we love to hate, but secretly look forward to seeing implode.


4. It's Marky Mark's brainchild--what could go wrong? HBO's even announced a second season for the show.


5. Celebrity cameos. It's like in "Sex in the City" without all that unnecessary SJP voice-over stuff.

Thank goodness this isn't single elimination...

Lets get serious here for a minute. USA Basketball was a disgrace today in Athens. There are a bunch of reasons why, let me spell them out for Larry Brown & the rest of the NBA in case they weren't sure after getting spanked by Italy & now Puerto Rico:

Lamar Odom looks for his skill.

1. Where's Shaq? I hate the Lakers as much as anybody, but now that Shaq's chillin in Miami the U.S. is missing one of the best big players the game's ever had. Tim Duncan, Odom & Boozer are good big men, but there's no reason why Boozer should be there instead of Shaq--I don't care if he declined.

2. Where's Tracy Mcgrady? Don't tell me he's going back to college (again)...T-Mac delivers...better than that Wade guy.


3. Leaving Carmelo Anthony on the bench for pretty much the entire game while LeBron James plays pretty much the whole game. Guess what Larry, 'Melo is better than King James & you don't know it.



4. Letting Stoudamire sit the entire game after not getting hot while on the floor.
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Orange Juice & free Wi-Fi...

In other news, T-mobile is giving Floridians (people from Florida) free Wi-Fi access, which is cool since hurricaine Charley took out a reported 280-800,000 acres of citrus growing area. The only catch is that most of those hotspots are in Starbucks coffee shops.

If anybody is unemployed and looking for a job here in Portland you might be able to get this from Oregonlive.com :



And speaking of pictures (oh sorry were we?) here's a shot I took a couple weeks ago of an iPod...

Gay Marriage & Salmon?


Sorry for the lack of an update yesterday. It was pretty hectic with John Kerry in town & all. We went to go see him at the waterfront int Portland, OR and were treated to a sunburn, dehydration & seeing Congresswoman Darlene Hooley make an ass of herself trying to get the crowd riled up with an off-key version of "Go Johnny Go!"

To see Darlene Hooley's natural state, click here.

After seeing several other Oregon politicians get their much-needed facetime ($100,000+ salary & you still want to talk to people?) it was time for Kerry to come up to the stage, which of course meant several other people had to talk first. Not quite sure where John Edwards was, but Teresa (Kerry's wife) delivered a solid speech that was frankly a little more inspiring than Kerry's re-hashed version of his DNC acceptance speech. It was still good to see him up there, but some new material would have been great. maybe something about gay marriages or salmon.


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Here are some other pictures from the rally. If you want more, click here.


The man himself...


The giant banners put up by Kerry's people...these things were seriously huge.



Leonardo Di Caprio...the king of the world--or at least biodeisel.

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Gmail

In case you've been living under a rock (entirely possible in this day & age) Gmail is Google's 1Gigabyte e-mail service that's currently in it's beta phase before awaiting public release. If you have a bunch of junk in your house that you need to get rid of, this site is basically like eBay for GMail accounts, except it costs nothing to get an invite from somebody whose got one to give & wants something in return (like the junk you want to throw out).



In addition to this, GMail is creepy.

Here's the wicked shot of the day, taken by yours truly:




I'm out for the day & part of tommorrow for a friend's b-day. Enjoy the weekend & the olympics!


Gimme my trans-fats!

In case you've been living under a rock (or in Canada possibly), the low-carb thing has hit what is *hopefully* it's critical mass in the continental U.S. During a recent trip to Quizno's I was searching for something to accompany my delicious toasted sandwich when I stumbled on these.


It's like paper, with salt and happiness sprinked on top!


I wasn't quite sure there was anything wrong with the original Doritos (besides their mind-boggling amount of things that are horrible for you), but Frito-Lay took it upon themselves to cash in on the low carb movement with a product that screams "Might Cause Anal Leakage." Well, not actually, but if Olestra tasted as bad as these new chips taste, WoW chips might have died off a little faster than they did originally.

I think the real question is: is being healthier worth giving up eating things that taste like food?
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Kerry me home

In other news, John Kerry is coming here (Portland, OR) tommorrow & I'm going to try & hit it up if possible. I'm interested to see if he's cool enough to rock shorts and some Birkenstocks because it's going to be H-O-T! If you live in the Portland area and are confused about where to go & where to get these illustrious tickets click here....they're free (but you'll probably get all that great democratic Spam!) I really don't mean to slam the democratic party, but they're definitely not perfect.

Bon Jovi & Leonardo Di Caprio are also hanging out in P-town, no doubt to pick up these Portland girls and re-amplify their careers in the (503).

Speaking of celebrities hanging out in Portland, it reminds me of when Benicio Del Turo was hanging out in town during the shooting of "The Hunted" (a real waste of 92 minutes). Chelsea Cain wrote a real funny column about it, which you can find here. I used to be tight with Chelsea back in grade school when she came to visit our English Class...little did I know how funny her writing was, because I think she came in to tell us about grammer. She wrote (and continues to write) some hilarious stuff for the Portland Mercury & Willy Week, which is worth checking out.

"Do you like my stethescope and high neckline?"

I'll leave you with that image in your heads ;)

Oh ye of little faith!

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In the beginning...http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif

Home of the daily entertainment fix you deserve, welcome to a little bit of everything...your source for things in this world that need a little more attention than they get from other sites.

There's a bunch of stuff on the burner today:

• From Engadget.com, this guy rigged up a cigarette lighter to his PC...I mean obviously lighters and matches are too complicated.

• From Craigslist.org, the usual midget sighting.

• Also from Craigslist.org, if you are Latino, would like a little bit of extra money and live in the L.A. area (good luck finding that...) you can always try out for these roles:

HISPANIC GANGSTERS:
Caesar: 25-30, Classic bully, street tough, controlling.
Spider: 18-22, wiry sycophant, feral.
Santos: 25-30, narcissistic, muscled.

• Freedom after two years attached to somebody else would probably be nice. Just ask these guys.

• I don't care if it's really his name, the BBC should know better than to do a title like this.
  

That's it for today, more tommorrow. -J