More like "Smell A"

This town stinks...I'm serious! It's hot, the roads are super conjested and quite frankly the amount of Smog is scary! To my horror upon arriving here and unpacking my belongings I found that I had no phone, pillows or trash recepticle at my disposal. Could things get worse? Possibly, but I managed to pick one of these up. Despite it's teenage appeal, the phone is hilarious. When you get messages it says "Oooh aren't you popular!" in a faux British accent in addition to having cell-phone-like ringtones for that horrific tres shiq appeal. The phone was $40, but it has a built in answering machine and a blue screen, which might have cost $40 just on it's own. I recommend picking one up at your local retailer immediately.

We're hitting up the bar now, finding some sanctity in old friends before all the rest of em show up and things get hectic. In case you were going to go to IKEA in Saudi Arabia, you might want to change your mind.

It's better down south..

Making the epic trip that is Portland to L.A. starting tomorrow so there shouldn't be any updates for a while. In the meantime why don't you read this story, despite it's near 77% chance of being completely fabricated, it's a wonderful read and will certainly make you laugh a bit.

See you in SoCal...land of fake breasts and air you can see.